Step 1: Find a location with some sort of inherent toddler appeal. Think jungle gym, pool, or swings.
Step 2: Throw your hands in the air. Remember you are not in control of the chaos.
Step 3: In light of the chaos pick start and end times. 2 hours is good, 3 if you are particularly brave. Try to start after nap time, it reduces meltdowns.
Step 4: Breath deeply, anyone can survive 2 hours of chaos especially when all the available weapons are kid safe.
Step 5: Plan food. Don't over plan. If you pick a party after nap time, it's probably also after lunch. Remember all kids like gold fish. Fruit is good: it hydrates and it's tastes good. (It seems like three or four types of snacky things works well. Don't forget the cake for birthday parties and something icy in summer. For beverages: have plenty of water and beverages for the adults.
Step 6: Day of. Find a place for the toddler to be while you set up. Setting up takes time and little hands are somehow everywhere all at once - it's not a good combination. I suggest family or sympathetic parents willing to take him or her on a play date.
Step 7: Set up. Don't over think the decorations. Most toddlers won't really notice and anything low hanging is going to get shredded by the whirlwind of flying elbows and running feet that is toddlers at play. I suggest a few key decorations hung high.
Step 8: Sit in the center of the room and the following: "I am the parent of a toddler who I love and adore. I'm not in control. It's going to be ok." Try to believe it. Breathe deeply... a lot. Remember in high quantities, oxygen is a euphoric. Keep those deep breathes coming.
Step 9: Toddlers don't wait well, so try to arrange for one early arriver to keep your toddler company while you wait for your guests to arrive.
Step 10: The guests arrive. Relinquish control and ride the wave. Repeat after me: "weeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
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